Sunday, December 05, 2004

so if we can hump dead animals and antelopes...

Just thought I could reprint something I wrote that was really clever. Think about it for a sec


I'm also tired of love. Love is useless. Love has done nothing to me but destroy my self-esteem and probably permanently damaged my brain through sleepless nights and voices in my head.

There is no such thing as love. Love is basically animalistic attraction, the same attraction wild bison or lions have when choosing their mates, or more accurately, choosing which has the best genes to pass onto their young. You don't love the guy/girl you're with 'because you like them' like them because they have characteristics you want to spread to your future offspring. So you wonder why most girls like good looking guys...or guys who like girls with a rump and a rack (to put it bluntly). Peacock males with ugly feathers won't get much mates. Guys with more pimples than they have skin area do the same.

Hallmark is stupid. Valentine's Day is actually glorified mating season.


In my honest opinion. Lovers who still believe in away and rest assured with the fact that you have it and some don't.

Ah my bitterness doesn't show, right? I knew it.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Friday, December 03, 2004

i cant tell you how to make it go

I'm doing it again.

Oh my god, I'm doing it again.

I promised myself I would hold her like sand in my hand.

Instead, I hold her as if she would disappear, clutching and clawing at her as if she was oxygen to my drowning soul, like holding a small bird too tightly in my hand.

Sooner or later, if I don't loosen my grip, this precious life will die...along with my dreams.

And I will be left empty again.

She's always there. I say hi. She says hello. I ask her how she is. She tells me she's going crazy over her thesis. I tell her I miss her. She asks me about the rain.

Inch by inch, closer and closer I squeeze into her every moment...and I am afraid that if I don't stop, I might smother her.

It's so humiliating to be the only person on earth who does the same mistake twice. The excuse 'I'm only human' is just excuse. An excuse to rationalize my ongoing habit of grasping for love instead of slowly reaching out a hand so that it might find a place to rest.

He says I'm blowing things out of proportion. So she ignores you for one day, what's the worse that could happen? So what if you texted, Yahoo! messaged, and Ragnarok PM'd her in just one day? It's not like its stalking or agressiveness or anything. It's coincidence.

Shyeah, coming from a guy whose motto is 'everything happens for a reason'.

A horny guy once said that there's no such thing as a mistake. There are just things that you do...and things you don't do. Right now...I'm wishing I didn't do it.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Frankenstein wastes a minute of your time

Just watched Late Night with Conan o'Brien and I have to say he is the funniest man on TV. I could only dream to match his lightning fast wit.

He had a segment called 'Celebrity Survey' where he (pretend only)would ask celebs to finish a this.

Conan: Before a concert, I tell myself....

Bono: Relax and have fun.
Justin Timberlake: It's go time.
Britney Spears: Don't move your lips until you hear your voice.

Sheer genius.

And of course my all-time fave...'Frankenstein Wastes a Minute of our Time'.

Now where can you find a show that has Frankenstein doing all sorts of stupid stuff just to waste Conan's time?!

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

another reason to leave luck to assasins

A funny thing happened on my way to the...well let me just elaborate.

I was coming home from school after a hard day at school playing Ragnarok Online for 4 hours...I was really tired that I took the wrong jeep going home so I was forced to ride the jeep going by Blumentritt instead of Dapitan. But I always say, things happen for a reason...

It was traffic in Laon Laan so the (idiot) driver decided to go via Dimasalang, much to my dismay. But then I felt someone tap me on the shoulder, and I turned around to see this cute girl (or woman..she looked a wee older) beside me with a worried look in her eyes. She asked me if the jeep was passing by Simoun St., and I was like, 'yeah.'.

As the (idiot) driver gave us an impromptu tour of the inner city, taking a shortcut here and a detour there, I made a casual friend out of this cute girl beside me, assuring her that I know where the jeep was going (which in fact I was praying to God that it isn't taking me anywhere I don't want to.)

The jeep stopped in Blumentritt alright...near Chinese General Hospital, which means the girl and I were as far away from our destinations as we possibly could. We both laughed at ourselves and our strange luck and decided to pair up and find a way back home. Sure enough, we found a jeep that was going to pass by Simoun, and I was gentleman enough to accompany the girl all the way to her destination (if not to find out where she lived), and she was very thankful that I went out of my way to help her find where she was going.

Now I'm asking myself, 'Damn, why didn't I ask her for her name?!'


Monday, October 25, 2004

die already!

Consider this as a hate essay. I'm sorry if anybody reading this gets his or her sensibilities offended, but rest assured that this essay is all that: a hate essay. I'm really pissed off today, but somebody just ticked me off the wrong way...all without lifting a finger. My hate needs a scapegoat so I don't vent it out on real people, so I don't explode in front of my crush, so I don't really do it in real life. Call it escapist nonfiction.

I hate you. I desperately need you to die. I want to hang you upside down and dunk your head in a barrel full of Coke and leave you to drown. I want to take a strong bamboo stick and whack your smug, annoying face with it. Heck, you're as interesting as an amoeba in heat. You inconsiderate piece of shit. I mean, why the heck are you here for?

Wait, on second thought, I want you to die a slow, slow death. I want to hear every note of every scream you make as I tie you to a stretcher and saw your fingers one by one with a bread knife. I want to see your life drain out the stubs that used to be your fingers and laugh at you like you always laughed at me.

And when you go to hell, which i know you will, I want the red guy to be standing at the gates, waiting for your wretched soul so he can claim you as his own and send you to the dark, dank pits of Hell, where you will writhe in agony and pain in the fires of his little convection oven.

Jeez, I so desperately want you to die so I wouldn't have to deal with your sick, perverse and annoying existence anymore. I don't care if anybody's feelings will get hurt with this, or if anybody will miss you when you die, I just want you to.


As a disclaimer, I have nothing against this person I'm condemning to hell nor do I have any serious thoughts for murder. I'd rather have fate arrange that. I just want to let out some stress. You won't believe how pissed off I am today.

Good night, everyone. :)

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 to take revenge

I just heard that the ex-love of my life is now cursing her former crush to hell. The reasons for her now-violent attitude towards the guy is still unknown. I used to hate the guy for stealing her affections away from me, going so far as drawing him in a guillotine or a noose, ready to be disposed of executioner style. Or exploding to expletives at the near mention of his name. But now that he pisses her off, I just found a new friend...:)

Now I heard she's so depressed she's drowning herself in her Vanness Wu CDs and her Meteor Rain VCDs, probably hoping that Vanness would crawl out of her TV ala-Sadako and take her away to his spaceship and, judging from her recent Friendster posts, explore their most basic instincts. Of course, that's probably just me.

Come to think of it, she always had a thing for guys she will probably never have. But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

I remember a song by Swing Out Sister that fits this situation nicely.

You'll get what you deserve
Hiding behind a lie
Revenge says more than words
You'll pay for your crime
Still waiting for love to take revenge

But in this case, I don't have to wait anymore :)

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Yay! My first blog!

My first blog. Ever.

I've never written a blog, nor have I seen the usefulness of one. I see blogs as more of a vanity thing, the sort of site where you (almost) split your soul open for all the world to see. Well, that WOULD happen if people would get to read this. Oh well. If I'm gonna split my soul open, I better go all the way, right?

This might be the start of a beautiful friendship.
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