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Tuesday, October 01, 2013

DINOSAUR WEEK II: The Mega Comic Book Dinosaur Brawl-for-All!



Dinosaurs are a vicious and powerful lot. And what better way to take advantage of that AND entertain ourselves in the process than by pitting some of the craziest, nastiest and most fearsome dinosaurs from comic books against each other in the figurative arena!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the brawl to end all brawls...the MEGA COMIC BOOK DINOSAUR BRAWL-FOR-ALL! We've taken dinosaurs from different domains of comicdom and made them go head-to-head in a battle for the ages! Who will roar in triumph? Who will claw their way to victory? Place your bets coz the ripping and the tearing begins NOW!



Dr. Dinosaur vs. Doctor Dinosaur
Tale of the tape: One is a mad scientist and enemy of Atomic Robo who happens to be a dinosaur, and the other is a dapper dinosaur gentleman and enemy of DC's Inferior Five who happens to be mad.

The battle: Both score high marks in the intelligence department, but DC's Doctor Dinosaur one ups the other by virtue of having TWO brains. However, the fact that one of the said brains resides in his butt (no, seriously) kinda negates it. Besides, what can a dude with a brain in his butt do against a crazy, gun-toting velociraptor? This one's pretty easy to call.

Winner: Dr. Dinosaur (Atomic Robo)


Wexter vs. Tyrannosaurus Reich
Tale of the tape: One is an over-the-top T-Rex pet with cop glasses and robot machine guns for arms, the other is an over-the-top Nazi T-Rex who roars in German.

The battle: There's no one in the world that won't crap their pants at the sight of a bloodthirsty Nazi T-rex. Unfortunately for him though, Axe Cop's dinosaur pet Wexter does not, in fact, have any pants to crap in. Also, Wexter can freakin' fly. A T-Rex that flies and rains bullets on you from space. This isn't a battle...this is a curbstomp.

Winner: Wexter


Satanus vs. Venom T-Rex
Tale of the tape: One is a time-traveling black tyrannosaur, the other is a black-symbiote-wearing tyrannosaur. Both roam post-apocalyptic wastelands and have a taste for human flesh!

The battle: This'll be messy. Satanus is vicious and bloodthirsty, having roamed and killed its way through the Cursed Earth in Judge Dredd's universe. And while we're sure Venom T-Rex is deadly in its own right, we've seen loads of dudes just like him turned into bloody piles of dinosaur meat by this demonic-sounding dino. I bet Satanus sees Venom T-Rex less as an opponent...and more as second breakfast.

The winner: Satanus


Super Dinosaur vs. Devil Dinosaur
Tale of the tape: One is a boy's T-Rex best friend outfitted with power arms and armor, and the other is an ape boy's T-Rex best friend that likes to stomp on things. A lot.

The battle: This is actually pretty tough to call. Can Super Dinosaur's payload of missiles and other weaponry do damage to Devil Dinosaur's hide? Will Devil Dinosaur be able stomp the living daylights out of Super Dinosaur? Can a scrawny science whiz-kid beat up a feral ape boy (my money's on the ape boy)?

Then again, one chomp from Devil Dinosaur takes out Super Dinosaur's left robot arm, another chomp takes out the right, and what you're left with is a T-Rex that talks. And Devil Dinosaur ain't up for talking.

Winner: Devil Dinosaur


Stegron vs. Sauron
Tale of the tape: One turned into a dinosaur through science, and the other turned into a dinosaur through a bite from a mutant pteranodon. Both equally insane. This could be good.

The battle: Sauron has been one of the X-Men's deadliest enemies with his power to siphon the life energies of anyone he touches. Stegron, however, has the ability to mentally control dinosaurs. A not-so-useful power these days (I mean, seriously), but it just so happens his opponent is half-dinosaur! Unfortunately for Steggy here, Sauron's got the experience and the speed to make short work of a Lizard wannabe.

Winner: Sauron


Jurassic Strike Force 5 vs. Dinosaurs for Hire
Tale of the tape: Both are anthropomorphic dinosaurs with guns. No matter who wins, it will be awesome.

The battle: A firefight between these two teams could potentially be epic. They both seem to be evenly matched when it comes to tactics and firepower, with the Jurassic Strike Force 5 merely outnumbering the Dinosaurs for Hire 5 dinos to 3 and the Dinosaurs for Hire making up for lack of high-tech gear with sheer street-smarts. It's hard to call that we have to give this to both of them.

Winner: Draw


Gon vs. Dino-Man

Tale of the tape: One is a cute chibi dinosaur from a popular manga, the other is...whatever the hell that is.

The battle: No, seriously. WTF is that thing? Kill it, Gon! Kill it! Kill it before it lays eggs!!!

Winner: Know what? I'm just gonna give this to Gon

___

Anyway, I hope you liked our match-ups today. Agree with the decisions? Or do you think they could have ended differently? Leave me a comment via the comment box below and let's talk about it! DINOSAUR WEEK 2 is roaring its way to you all this week, so keep it locked here for more!

1 comment:

  1. I am honestly not familiar with most of the characters mentioned here except for Sauron (props to you for being knowledgeable in the marvel and comic world), but the first thing that came into my mind when I saw this article was Dr. Who. As of the moment, I am probably missing an opportunity to watch an awesome series since I used to enjoy a lot of Dr.Who dinosaur stuff back when I was a kid and I am pretty sure that I'd still do if given the chance.

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