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Saturday, February 26, 2005

Love U.

Who is the perfect one, anyway?

Who can tell what constitutes as perfect? Is it the way he smiles? Is it the way he seems to know what you're thinking about? Is it the way he seems to know the perfect thing to say at any moment? Is it the way he seems to worship you and hang on to every word you say?

I am not that person. I'm not Tom Cruise with his killer smile. I'm not a psychic and I can't and won't read your mind. I stop and stutter at the very moment you need to hear something meaningful.

But love is like a leap of faith. And if you've been battered and broken because of that leap like I did, it sort of skews your view of love a little. You become cautious and organized. You look before you leap. You wear all sorts of emotional equipment to deal with the leap and possible fall. You wear Love's Anti-fogging goggles so you could see where you should land without being blinded by the ever rolling blizzards of Reality. You wear Commitment's Boots to ensure footing on the other side. And you wear Rejection's parka jacket with emergency parachute so that when you do miss your jump, you wont have to die falling. But as soon as you get to the bottom...if there ever is one...you'll die from the cold either way.

I wanted to say I love you but apparently I'm not a romantic.

I wanted to say I care for her but apparently I thought I didn't need to.

I wanted to say that I would shake the heavens and catch the stars that fell so I could offer them to her...and I still want to.

I still want to.

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